The Baby in Mommy's Belly

Nah, you thought I was pregnant, didn't you? Well, so does my mid-sized child. Only it ain't true.

It started a couple of months ago, Jack kept insisting that there was a baby in my belly. And I told him that no, it was not even possible for there to be a baby in my belly, that we were through having babies. And he said, "Nothing is impossible for God."

Yes, Jack. This is true. This led him to sing, "My God is so BIG, so strong and so mighty; there's nothing my God cannot do." The lyrics then began to bother him, saying the words "God" and "cannot" in the same line just wasn't workin. So now he sings, "...there's ____ my God CAN do." It doesn't work, really, but it satisfies him.

Anyway, it turns out that Jack wants there to be a baby in my belly for Max to marry. See, Jack is planning on marrying Yen (his girlfriend at school who has the rainbow house and the big red dog named Clifford), but he's worried that there won't be anyone for Max to marry. So apparently if I have a baby, then Max will have a wife and all will be well. Definitely solves the MIL problem for Max, I suppose.

So off and on Jack has talked about the baby in my belly. Our friend is pregnant, and we took her to the hospital last month, where we found out that she is having a little girl. (jealous) The first words out of Jack's mouth were, "Yay, Maxie! Now you can marry the baby in Auntie J's belly! She will be your sister!" He's not dumb, he's just confused.

Yesterday he and Max were in their room playing, and he told Max, "Max there is a baby in mommy's belly, and while the baby is in there, we are going to die. Then, when the baby comes out of mommy's belly, we will come alive again." To which Max answered, "oh." Oh, I see. That explains it all. Thanks big brother.

Here's a picture of me with our 6 month pregnant friend:
You can quite clearly see that SHE has the baby in her belly, NOT me. If *I* was sporting a baby, there would be mountain ranges on my already shiny, fat face, my eyes would be hardly visible, but my hair would be oh so beautiful. Clearly, this is not the case.

Now the we had solved the issue of Max's wife/sister, I thought we were done with the baby in the belly talk, but even today, when Jack said, "I don't like little kids!" (Max had just bitten a chunk out of his back, so I can't say I particularly blame him.) he clarified his statement like this, "Except the baby in your belly. The baby sister." And when I asked him if I *looked* like there was a baby in my belly, he said, "Yes, mom. See how fat your belly is?"

I'm thinking about sending this one back; does anybody have that return address?